Starting A New Story

BY AXIOO (SOURCE)

In case you’re curious as to how I work, I am revealing my previously unknown process for starting a story. This is an actual transcript from an actual writing session.

Me: It’s time to write the amazing story that I’ve been thinking about nonstop.

Brain: You should cast your characters because then you’ll be able to really see them and your descriptions will be so much better.

Me: I see them in my head.

Brain: But maybe someone posted a better example of your character to Pinterest and if you don’t look now you’ll miss it forever. Then, when you’re a published author and people are asking whom you’d cast in the just-optioned movie of your book, you will have no one to show. NO ONE.

Me: Er, that’s not really the most important thing right now.

Brain: Then what about Tumblr? You haven’t browsed it in four hours and you never know what interesting photos may have popped up.

Me: No.

Brain: No? No what? No you will not expand your imagination with photos that could very well inspire a scene in the book you want to write?

Me: Stop trying to trick me.

Brain: Fine, go ahead and write, but you should know that all of your friends are on Twitter having fun without you.

Me: I don’t have time for that!

Brain: Well, make time.

Me: But I really need to start this story.

Brain: How do you know you’re even ready to start the story? Have you considered spending more time googling hypnotherapy?

Me: I’ve spent a lot of time doing that.

Brain: What if there’s new research that just came out today? You might want to re-read every site you’ve ever used for research.

Me: That will take forever.

Brain: It’s research, so it’s okay.

Me: Now I’m going to write and you can’t stop me.

Brain: Go ahead. Be my guest. So what if there’s a one-day sale at J.Crew. It’s not like you need to look cute or anything.

Me: I do look cute.

Brain: You’re wearing leggings, a T-shirt, and sweatshirt. You look like a hobo.

Me: Who’s going to see me, huh? No one.

Brain: That reminds me of that book… You know the one. You’ve been dying to read it forever. Oh hey, doesn’t it come out today?

Me: Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

Brain: What? Don’t they say the best way to improve your writing is to be well read?

Me: Well, yeah…

Brain: And the book’s getting great reviews. I’m only trying to help you here. I want to see your publishing dreams come true as much as you do.

Me: Maybe one chapter.

THREE HOURS LATER…

Brain: Wasn’t that better?

Me: It was good. But no more. Time to write.

Brain: I suppose I can whip up a paragraph for you.

Me: Aim higher.

Brain: I’m tired!

Me: Whose fault is that?

Brain: Tomorrow can we browse YouTube?

Anyone have a similar process?