|BY AXIOO (SOURCE)|
In case you’re curious as to how I work, I am revealing my previously unknown process for starting a story. This is an actual transcript from an actual writing session.
Me: It’s time to write the amazing story that I’ve been thinking about nonstop.
Brain: You should cast your characters because then you’ll be able to really see them and your descriptions will be so much better.
Me: I see them in my head.
Brain: But maybe someone posted a better example of your character to Pinterest and if you don’t look now you’ll miss it forever. Then, when you’re a published author and people are asking whom you’d cast in the just-optioned movie of your book, you will have no one to show. NO ONE.
Me: Er, that’s not really the most important thing right now.
Brain: Then what about Tumblr? You haven’t browsed it in four hours and you never know what interesting photos may have popped up.
Brain: No? No what? No you will not expand your imagination with photos that could very well inspire a scene in the book you want to write?
Me: Stop trying to trick me.
Brain: Fine, go ahead and write, but you should know that all of your friends are on Twitter having fun without you.
Me: I don’t have time for that!
Brain: Well, make time.
Me: But I really need to start this story.
Brain: How do you know you’re even ready to start the story? Have you considered spending more time googling hypnotherapy?
Me: I’ve spent a lot of time doing that.
Brain: What if there’s new research that just came out today? You might want to re-read every site you’ve ever used for research.
Me: That will take forever.
Brain: It’s research, so it’s okay.
Me: Now I’m going to write and you can’t stop me.
Brain: Go ahead. Be my guest. So what if there’s a one-day sale at J.Crew. It’s not like you need to look cute or anything.
Me: I do look cute.
Brain: You’re wearing leggings, a T-shirt, and sweatshirt. You look like a hobo.
Me: Who’s going to see me, huh? No one.
Brain: That reminds me of that book… You know the one. You’ve been dying to read it forever. Oh hey, doesn’t it come out today?
Me: Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
Brain: What? Don’t they say the best way to improve your writing is to be well read?
Me: Well, yeah…
Brain: And the book’s getting great reviews. I’m only trying to help you here. I want to see your publishing dreams come true as much as you do.
Me: Maybe one chapter.
THREE HOURS LATER…
Brain: Wasn’t that better?
Me: It was good. But no more. Time to write.
Brain: I suppose I can whip up a paragraph for you.
Me: Aim higher.
Brain: I’m tired!
Me: Whose fault is that?
Brain: Tomorrow can we browse YouTube?
Anyone have a similar process?