British Invasion

BY BRICE HARDELIN (SOURCE)

The other day I was researching a character for one of my WIPs—a right tosser if I’m being completely honest—and came across a few lists of Britishisms,* which are both illuminating and hilarious.

But they’re also helpful if you have, say, a chap from the UK in your story and want him to sound like a proper Brit. You know, one whose vocabulary includes more than “bloody” and “arse.”

I’ve been wanging on long enough. For more great Britishisms (plus a bit of their etymology), have a look at Not One-Off Britishisms. I’m keen on this list from XO Jane as well.

Cheers.**

*Please forgive my piss-poor attempt at adding Britishisms to my post.

**If you happen to be British, what are some other common phrases or slang? Leave ’em in the comments.

Let's Hear it for the (Highly Unqualified) Boys

PHOTO BY CECILIE HARRIS

It’s come to my attention that certain YA books are flaunting female main characters who are all-around better than their love interests. Now, before I go on and on about kick-ass girls and the boys who love them, I’d like to preface this by stating the following:

Just because the two boys mentioned here are outmatched in every way by their girlfriends doesn’t mean boys in general are not also all-around awesome. In fact, men can do anything women do. (Except the whole miracle of life thing. No big.)

Right, so the boys. We have Vane in Shannon Messenger’s Let the Sky Fall and Callum in Reboot by Amy Tintera. Neither are a match for the girls they meet—one who can control the elements and another who’s the most dangerous soldier in the land.

Yep.

But here’s the thing: THEY ARE SO LOVEABLE.*

Vane has just met a girl who’s lived in his dreams since he was a boy, has been told that he’s an important player in a supernatural war, and has been ordered to learn to control his ability in less than a week—or else die.

He tries. He fails. He tries harder. He can’t keep up with Audra. 

And yet it’s endearing. Vane’s sweet and imperfect, and it doesn’t make him less of a guy. In fact, his strength may be different than Audra’s physical power, but it’s no less important.

The same goes for Callum in Reboot. In a world where those who spend the most time dead before rebooting are the least  human, Callum is a lowly 22. Wren, on the other hand, was dead 178 minutes before she woke up—the most deadly Reboot out there. 

When Wren trains Callum, he’s out of his league. She could snap his neck with the flick of his wrist and he can’t even punch her. But Callum doesn’t come across as a pathetic excuse for a boy. He’s real and adorable and totally humanizes Wren. And while he’s no physical match for Wren, he’s in no way weak. After all, he’s the only lowly Reboot willing to approach scary number 178—and that takes courage Callum shows again and again throughout the book.

Reading both books, I couldn’t help but think of girls in novels who rely on physically stronger guys to get the job done. I don’t think too-little brawn or too many emotions makes for a weak female character.

No, I think it’s about more than that. Strong female characters can be physically weak but emotionally strong, like Callum and Vane. Consider Emma in Erin Boman’s Taken. She’s no physical match for Bree, who has trained as a fighter since childhood, yet she’s still a Strong Female Character. She’s took a stand against her village’s mating plans and faced possible death when she followed Gray over the wall (of her own accord, I should point out).

I think reading about boys who are physically weaker than their girlfriends is a nice reminder that Strong Female Characters—no, strong characters of both genders—are more than teens who can kill a man in under ten seconds.

Can you think of other books in which the boy is physically weaker than the girl? And do you think it makes them the equivalent of the “weak female character” we so often hear about?

*See also: Peeta Mellark

The Teen with Special Abilities Guide to High School Life (3rd Edition)

So, you’re developing a superpower or paranormal ability. If everything seems out of whack, don’t worry. Your body is changing in ways you may not understand, and it’s normal to feel out of control.

As you go through supernatural puberty, you may find that your emotions are affected, too. How you feel about yourself, your friends, and your family may shift. And that’s okay. Remember, you’re not the first boy or girl to deal with a changing body.

As your body ushers you into adulthood, you may be faced with changes in other areas of your life. During supernatural puberty, hormones may run rampant. Girls develop crushes on bad boys. Boys grow facial hair and sometimes fangs.

But you are not alone. We’re here to help you deal with the life changes you’ll soon be experiencing. Read on for the Cliff Notes version of issues you’ll come across in your soon-to-be high school life.

The totally hot but constantly cranky dude who appears to be stalking you

This is the guy who you are going to marry. Instead of returning his sinister glare, smile at the future father of your children. Sure, he may sulk in the corner, refuse to talk to anyone, and show up in your bedroom in the middle of the night, but it’s for your own good. Plus, he’s hot. Like, hotter than any guy you’ve ever met. Expect tingly feelings.

The adorable best friend with a massive crush on you

When you’re dying to spill your secrets, turn to the nice guy you’ve known for your entire life. He’s so hopelessly in love with you, he’d follow you to the underworld and back. There’s a 99.9 percent chance he’ll hate your new stalker boyfriend, but once you rub in his face how completely and irrevocably in love you are with the bad-tempered boy, the Best Friend will stick by your side.

The new kid

You’ll recognize the New Kid by his careful leaning against walls and lockers as well as a crooked smile that melts even the frigid Queen Bee’s heart. In some school systems, smokin’ hot, surly stalkers are frowned upon and, in such cases, the New Kid will be the object of your affection. But be careful: In many schools, the New Kid may appear harmless only to spring his hidden (and usually nefarious) agenda on you at the worst possible moment.

Your favorite teacher

Any teacher who treats you like an adult, shows interest in your life, and offers to help you in any way should be avoided at all costs. He is, most likely, evil. If he is moderately to severely attractive, your life may be in danger.

 

The creepy teacher

Like the scowling boy you’ll eventually make out with, your most sinister teacher is your ally in disguise. If you believe he’s attempting to thwart your plans, avoid retaliation. Chances are, he is trying to protect you and you’re too stupid to see it right now.

Your parents

You have a special ability? Good, now forget about your parents. That is, until they are A) are abducted, B) in the way, or C) revealed to be evil.

Your homework

Everything you learn in class applies to your life. Think you don’t need calculus? Study up anyway. In a few weeks, you’ll need problem 25 on page 94 to save the world.

Your dreams

These will basically tell you the answer to all of your problems. Might want to invest in a dream journal.

Your loner status

Does your ability set you apart from your peers? Are you different even among other people with superpowers or paranormal abilities? Congratulations, you’re the Chosen One. You’re probably going to save the world someday very soon. Go you.

Your looks

Supernatural puberty can make you self-conscious about your looks. But take heart: Even though you think your glowing silver eyes or suddenly white hair make you hideous or even ho-hum, you’re gorgeous. See also: the super-hot emo loner, your cute best friend, and the new kid, all of whom are in love with you.

Dearest readers, before I make pamphlets of this very important message, tell me about any points I may have missed.

For image sources, click photo.

What You Asked For

Sometimes when I look at the keywords that lead people to my blog I think, Oh, okay. Like when someone searches “Tracey Neithercott” or “Insurgent book review.” Yep, we serve both of those here.

Other times I have to wonder: Did these people visit my blog with the hope I’d have what they’re looking for? Or did they just know this blog is full of creepy children?

So today, I wanted to say, “Hey, Internet people who find my blog by searching things like ‘creepy children’ and ‘cute teen boys’ (two of the keywords that lead people here most often, by the way), I hear you. I hear you and I applaud your search for knowledge and greater meaning in life crushworthy boys.

So here you go, you searchers, an answer to your demands.* And because I don’t want to give everything away, I’ll let you decide who’s creepy and who’s cute. How’s that for promoting a thirst for knowledge?**

 

 

 

*Though, technically, the teen-ness of these boys is debatable. I’m sorry I can’t give you everything you want. It’s just the way of the world, Googlers. 

**Speaking of knowledge, if you click a photo it will take you to the source.